Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize