i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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