omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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