airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
