We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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