hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
