Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
