this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
