I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
