very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
