I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize