Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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