I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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