I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
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