Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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