I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
