girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
