The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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