i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
