Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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