And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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