i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
