there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
