Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
