Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize