What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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