She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
