Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
