You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
then he tried to convert me to islam
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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