i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Randomize
