Having a random hookup so left but love u
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
did i just pee glitter
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
