Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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