Can Purell be used as lube?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
