Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
