His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
