It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
