he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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