She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Randomize
