Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Your penis caused this!
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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