Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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