Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
4 words: hood of his car
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
