did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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