Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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