Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Swine flu is the new snow day.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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