The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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