He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
