garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
