New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
