Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
