Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Randomize
