we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
it's great music for shaving your balls
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
