i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
