ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize