i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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