My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
