i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
