Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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