just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I need moral support for this bender
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Randomize
