I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
