the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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