oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Randomize