Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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